Surviving Sunday Suppers

We have our Sunday suppers at my mom's house, every Sunday. And every Sunday I am vegging out, eating crap and more crap all day. To top it off we usually eat a huge meal and I go home and lay on my ass because I am too full and tired to do anything else. Such a bad thing to do, but after a long week and this is usually my only day to relax I just fell into it.

Now I have tried to diet before over and over and over and Sundays were the hardest because my whole family is just manging all day and who wants to sit there and watch all of that delicious food be eaten? Not me!

Food is my love. I love to cook it, learn about it, watch shows about it, perfect it, taste it, read about it, research the best ways to prepare it. I love every thing about it. I love the way it makes me feel. I love when people tell me my cooking is the best thing they ever tasted. I love to feel full because there were times in my life where I wasn't able to get full. Sometimes money was tight and there just wasn't enough food or there wasn't food that was good. Nothing makes me feel better than a huge plate of comfort food. I am a huge emotional eater and when shit gets hard you can bet I am stuffing my face. 

I have been to counseling and basically came to this conclusion that I already knew existed. My problem is I never learned how to cope with it. If I am hungry I eat and it doesn't matter how many calories or arteries I am clogging. If it makes me feel good, I am going to eat it. I am not stupid, I know I should have stopped this cycle a long time ago I just didn't know how. I still don't know how exactly I am going to get over this and I am sure I am going to have bad days, but I have never been more determined to beat it. 

So I am keeping myself accountable. On Sundays and every other day of the week. I am writing about it, I am telling people about it, I am keeping track of every single calorie and carb I put into my mouth. I rarely tell people when I am on a diet because I know when I fail I am going to hear shit about it, but this time I am telling everyone whether they want to hear it or not. And when they see me trying to sneak a hand full of chips I hope they say hey fatty put that down. Because I do need the help and I do need the reminders. I sometimes just eat out of habit and don't even realize what I am doing until after the fact. 

This Sunday I announced to everyone what my diet was, that I needed to stick to it, I am not going to be a fatty anymore,  and I even got a few "you need a cheat day" remarks. But I didn't cheat. I put everything I ate into the my fitness pal app on my phone and I made sure I stayed under my goal for the day. I even brought a huge salad that everyone loved and ate what everyone else ate for dinner, I just cut out the bread and left the potato wedges off of my plate. I stayed away from the snacks and I drank a HUGE cup of lemon water instead of my usual 3 glasses of soda. Go me.